Sorority Rush

Hey guys! I know it’s been a hot minute since I’ve been on here, there have been so many adjustments taking place where I really could only focus on those. But don’t worry, I have a very special piece I want to share with you all.

This summer, I was taking an online English class where I created a portfolio based on the media’s negative impacts of body image. I’m sharing the piece I wrote about my experience through sorority rush since it is that time again!

School is about to start back up, so I figured that there wasn’t a better time to share this. I hope you guys enjoy!

Disclaimer: this is a professional essay, so it is pretty lengthy, but I promise it’s worth the read!

I hope you all enjoy!!

Xo,

D

Sorority Rush in a Nutshell

Written by, Danielle Dubin

       When I was a kid, my favorite movies were: Legally Blonde, Sydney White, and So Undercoverbecause they all showed what it was like to live in a sorority… to some extent, that is. Having attended overnight camp for eight summers, I couldn’t wait for another chance to actually live alongside friends. Joining a sorority was probably what I was looking forward to most within the entire college process. A sorority is a social organization that is for women only to join based on mutual interests and values. It provides an environment to develop sister hood as well as social opportunities. I remember picturing myself living in the beautiful house, decorating a room to share with my best friend, and all of the other cliché ideas that come to mind when thinking of a sorority. Amidst this new, exciting opportunity, I forgot about the fact that you actually have to get chosento be inthe sorority through a process known as “rushing”. Now I know there are many preconceived notions about sorority rush, but I want to bring attention to one specifically; body image. In society today, media is unrealistically portraying body image, causing people, including myself, to think negatively about our own bodies. Although I hate to admit it, this is a significant factor within the rush process too.

Sororities differ for each university. Some universities don’t have any, where others, such as the one I attend, has over twenty. Additionally, universities rush at various times. Most hold rush in the “fall” which is usually the week in August before classes start. For me, I was due back at school a week early from winter break where we started the first rounds, also known as parties, before the start of the “spring” semester. Although I can’t speak about the process at other schools, the only differences really are the traditions. For reference, my university has twenty-two sororities and is required for you to attend every sorority in order to be considered for membership by the university. The basis of recruitment is that you travel with your rush group to each sorority that you are scheduled to go to that day. During each round, I talked to around three to five people, starting off with small talk during the first few rounds, and eventually getting into more personalized conversations towards the end of the process. After each round, you rank your top sororities as they simultaneously rank you as well. It is considered a “mutual selection process”, where you, and the chapter, rank each other in hopes for a match offering you an invite back to the next party. Each round gets smaller with fewer chapter visits on your daily agenda. This is also when each round becomes longer, you talk to less people, and the ceremonies are more personalized, too. The entire process took place just under two weeks, with the first two rounds from Thursday to Sunday. There was a much needed, week- long break starting that Monday, the first week of classes until the process picked back up that following weekend for rounds three and four; Friday to Sunday. The process was finally completed by the following Tuesday, which was the night the bids were given out.

During Thanksgiving break, the madness had official begun. We received our rush groups, basically just the dorms we lived in during freshman year, and had mandatory meetings held by our Rho Gamma. In simpler terms, this is a mentor who has gone through intensive training in order to guide each woman going through recruitment with a neutral, non-biased opinion of each sorority. These were basically our point people if we needed anything such as a person to talk to regarding how we were feeling and helped us make some of the tougher decisions. At this point, the nerves haven’t kicked in yet and I was still excited thinking about the process. Thanksgiving break was also the time where people started to think about each outfit they were to wear for the different parties. As the parties got smaller, dress became more formal. Needless to say, everyone was obsessed with finding the perfect outfit to wear to impress each sorority and make them “want you.” This is where the idea of body image comes in. To be frank, there are so many superficial aspects to this process that cause people, including myself, to remember the real reason we are rushing in the first place; to find a sisterhood. It’s the sad truth that appearance plays a huge role in some decision-making methods. Even if that is not your chapter’s intention, it’s hard to suppress a subconscious judgement since sometimes you don’t even know that it’s there. The point that I’m trying to get at here is that outfits and appearances DO matter during rush and it sucks, but it’s true. I remember one of the pre-rush meetings that were held where the topic of discussion was about outfits. There is a specific dress code for each round as well as a list of “important things to remember” while going through the process. Random suggestions on the list such as put your best face forward and other motivational sayings are basically saying don’t forget to put on makeupor look like the best version of yourself. Being someone who is extremely interested in makeup and fashion, this was not a problem for me. But, thinking about it in retrospect, this probably freaked some girls out who are not as interested in this, or those that don’t have the means to these materials. Additionally, the preconceived notions of what brands are the trendiest and what makes a girl attractive all stem from the overarching influence of media. It brainwashes us to think only certain ways about people and actually causes us to make more judgements. We are all victims of this, including myself. I am not proud of it, and I assume most people aren’t, but this furthers the overall discussion of how we can change society’s views on what makes a woman’s body image “attractive” in the way that she is not beating herself up about it constantly. As recruitment came closer and nerves grew, anxieties were at an all- time high. It was quite easy to tell the nerves amongst everyone’s faces. It was as if someone took a sharpie and wrote “anxious” on everyone’s foreheads. It was no lie that it was starting to get serious and tensions became so strong.

Like most situations, I expected rush to get easier over time. I defied those odds; however, and was an honest mess through it all. I barely slept, ate, or even talked to my friends that much. I didn’t know I had anxiety, let alone this horrible of it, until now. During each round, I found myself over-analyzing each conversation I had, every ounce of imperfection on my body, comparing myself to other girls in the room, and constantly trying to rid myself of those annoying “what if” thoughts crowding my mind. I was slipping and remember wanting to give up since this was no longer taking only an emotional toll on me but physical as well. I know I wasn’t the only one experiencing this amount of pressure, though. One of my good friends told me that she was only consuming around 300 calories per day due to stress. It got to a point where people in her rush group were forcing food on her since she became so weak. It was reassuring knowing that other people had a rough time like I did, but did not change the fact that this was how I was constantly feeling. Reflecting back on this process now, new questions have risen such why is a process that is supposed to be so rewarding having such negative impacts on us?And If it wasn’t for the pressure that we weren’t good enough, or weren’t pretty enough, and even weren’t thin enough, would this process have felt different?I have no answers for these and don’t expect others to either.

Tuesday night was bid night. This is when every girl who “survived” the process gathered in one area to open their cards telling them if they received a bid from a sorority. It was crazy to think that there was only around 2,000 people in that room, half the amount as we started with. The people who were not there that night either decided to drop out on their own or were dropped from all of the houses they were invited back to. I can only imagine how that must’ve felt and I’m lucky to say that I did not have to experience that, nor did any of my close friends. This was a fun night from the start. Even before we actually opened our cards, the Rho Gammas all revealed themselves and which chapters they were affiliated with. It was really exciting to see all of the spirit they all had. This made me glad that I stuck with this process because I knew it would be worth it in the end. Next thing I know I hear “3…2…1…” and then a lot of screaming. I opened my card alongside my freshman roommate and was relieved to see that the sorority that offered me a bid was the same sorority that I placed as my number one choice. Others were not as lucky as I was; however, but I realized it was time to focus on myself and how I felt instead of focusing my attention and energy on others like I have been doing for the last two weeks. Having opened my card, I felt confident in my choice and confirmed my feelings of it being worth it.

It turns out that I was later diagnosed with a generalized anxiety disorder, making me even more proud of myself for pushing through the process and handling it on my own. I did not realize the strength that I had at the time, I only knew how badly I wanted to be a part of a sisterhood and to find a sense of community. Thinking about how this event relates to media influence on body image, I conducted a survey for my sorority sisters, trying to get their opinion on this issue. Results came as expected, and most of my peers have personally been affected by negative influence on body image from mass- media. The survey was anonymous, causing me to believe that each answer was truthful. One answer that suck out to me read:

“We all look up to social media influencers like the Kardashian’s and other models. Because of this we try and look like them. It’s similar to looking up to an older sister and wanting to be like them. However, the media has become such a major influence on society that people will go to great lengths to look right or to get surgery to look like their ideal self. When in reality, every woman is beautiful in their own way. Social media makes it seem like there is only one kind of beautiful.”

This response made me think of recruitment because of the superficial nature of the process. Although that is not the intention, it happens. There are certain sororities that have a similar look and want to find girls to fit that particular image. Again, even though this is not the purpose, it happens. Many other responses were very similar saying “I always compare myself”, “I have always felt more self- conscious about myself after going on social media”, and “media negatively affects a way someone perceives the way they look…Instagram can easily make a person feel bad for the way he/she looks.” Through these responses, the idea that media negatively affects the way that people perceive body image seems to be a common consensus. Especially coming from sorority women, this adds to the fact that these ideas are prominent through the recruitment process.

To conclude, I want to mention that in no way is sorority recruitment a terrible thing. I am so grateful to be in a sorority that has led me to find such great friends as well as so many memories. As I tell people from home, school is my happy place, and I don’t think I would feel this way if I wasn’t in my sorority. I can’t even picture myself not being in my chapter. Had I made different decisions such as dropping out of the process or choosing a different sorority as my first choice in the end, I honestly don’t think I would be as happy as I am. From this process, I learned that there will always be times that get hard and might not seem worth it, but will be in the end. I mean you started the process for some reason, right? Additionally, I learned that it is up to our generation and those to come to try and change the way society is perceiving body image. Media played a huge part in my perception of body image during this process through the use of Instagram and online shopping, specifically. I wanted to buy clothes from the most popular brands in hope that it would make people like me more. I used Instagram to see the certain types of outfits “sorority girls” wore and based my shopping off of that. I realize now that I should have bought what coordinated with my own style and not focus as much on what I thought would make me fit in. As I am not confident with my body, I felt inferior, hence the desire for new clothes from the trendiest brands. Moral of the story, I believe that If we don’t act together, nothing can be done. We all need to combine our efforts in order to see a difference in hopes of preventing other people from experiencing the hate and judgement we have gone through.